Home | About Us | News | Contact Us Mom & Pops | Mid Size | Big Boys Dog Fight The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world, so they decided to settle the dispute with one dog fight. They gave each other five years to breed the biggest, meanest fighting dogs the world had ever seen and whichever country lost would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world and bred them with the biggest, meanest Siberian Wolves. They selected only the biggest and the strongest puppy from each litter, killed all his siblings and gave him all the milk. They injected him with steroids and hired the best trainers to teach him to fight. After five years, they had bred the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. His cage needed steel bars five inches thick, and no one could ever get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a 9-foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans, because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog. When the cages opened up, the dachshund came out of his cage and slowly waddled over toward the Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled and leaped out of his cage. But when it got close enough to bite the American dog's neck, the dachshund opened its mouth and swallowed the Russian dog whole. There was nothing left of the Russian dog at all. The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened." "We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. "Really," the Americans replied, "we had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund! Return to News